a room of one's own?

phrase of the week: "replacement date." noun. use sparingly and with calm certitude.

sample usage: do let me know by friday if you will be filming next week saturday, as i will have to find a replacement date before then.

punctuate with a pleasant smile. instantaneous results guaranteed.

...

so i slept at the den, which i hate, although we did get out to E&O beforehand (i don't recommend the mangopolitan, which is basically pog and vodka). got "american beauty" and i got to see the gaping hole in the roof. it stopped me dead in my tracks, it was so big. i stood there with my mouth open and he said, "bigger than you thought?" and i said "hire some professionals, bitch!" and he said, "she did" and i said "fucking finally! you're not going up on that roof anymore!" and he said "i promise." i hate when i act like his wife when there are some things about being a girlfriend that are still hard to stomach, but sometimes i can't help myself. it normally comes out when i'm around people in his life that i hate. i'm glad to note it's more than simple jealous behavior, because that would make me feel like a loser. at least i can say it's not just XP -freaking-D, it's his dumb ultra gay roommates and ultra dumb landlord aunty too. although speaking of XPD, her friend (the one who likes to mix meds and alcohol) called on friday, several times, marking her messages "urgent," but would never pick up when he called her back. finally, wanting desperately to sleep, i said, "just call XPD." he goes "i can't believe you're suggesting that." "could be important" was all i replied. it was NOT important, by the way - the meds-mixing genius was having a barbecue the following night. sometimes when people are that dumb it's best to pity them and forget about being mad.

so last night at starbucks, when we were supposed to be crafting a mission statement for one of his projects, i was telling him about fairweather's predicament - wanting to move in with her boyfriend but not wanting to be hacked to death and served for dinner by her superconservative chinese mom. looking back on the conversation now, i have to hope i didn't seem like i was fishing for what he said later. it turned to me, and my own situation, and how i was slowly changing my mind about finding a place to rent, and instead trying to look at the big picture and home ownership and all that jazz. he said, regarding the interim, that i could move in with him at the house his grandmother is building that he eventually wants to live in once his lease at the hellhole is up. even though i know i don't want to jump from my parents' house to someone else's house, and that my deepest wish right now is to have that virginia woolfean room of my own, it made me so happy when he said that. like, silly happy. it made me smile ... even though i know it is unrealistic as pipe dreams come. i too have a mom with a cleaver. i don't want to live with him or anyone right now. i don't want to rent, period. and to be honest, the pragmatic half of him is probably looking for someone on par with him to share the rent (location, location, location.) but yeah, i enjoyed the thought for about an hour till we packed up and went our separate ways.