amen, i quit

i lean away from k when we go to the movies. i don't know why. i just do. i lean so far in the opposite direction that it looks, as he pointed out tonight, as if we are two strangers who just happened to find seats next to each other in a crowded theater.

as usual he was on my left tonight, so i was leaning to my right. it just so happened that some guy came in late and sat in the seat to my right, and had no problem with the fact that i had taken up residence on the armrest. he settled in and before long was leaning to his left. we were far from snuggling, but there was a noticeable shortage of personal space. but i figured, i was there first and i'm comfortable. so i camped out like that for the rest of the movie.

later i make the mistake of mentioning to k that the guy was so close i could smell his cologne. this made k mad, which sparked a 25 minute conversation (on, in my opinion, absolutely nothing), which made ME mad. stupid. he ended up admitting that he was mostly irritated because the guy looked over at me and then at him once or twice. i choose to assume he was wondering why the hell i wanted that armrest when my date was on my left. so i told him that in exchange for listening to his stupid complaints for almost half an hour, and for my half-assed promise to try not to lean into any more strange men (whatever), that the next time we go out to something higher-profile than a get-together at his friends' place - be it one of his premieres, etc. - he WILL act like he came with me and that he thinks it's fucking cool that we're together. it still pisses me off when i remember the oc16 premiere at the sheraton, the one where he was more than happy to let me calm his nerves in a deserted foyer (and by calm his nerves, i mean JUST TALK), but once we rounded the corner, he dropped my hand and took off. no we weren't a couple then. no we're not much of a couple now. point? none.

before that i got mad because he made some comment about nobody visiting him at the FS. he said that before, about the year he was stationed at 42. when he moved to town he said, "thank god, because now maybe i'll get some visitors." call me hypersensitive but i really resented that i had driven to waikele sometimes twice a cycle, but he would never remember that. selective memories. he tried it again with 33, where he is now. i am at that station pretty frequently (i work down the street, gdamnit) but he said, over kaka'ako kitchen fare, "you don't care for the neighborhood, do you?" (because i rarely visit, supposedly.) first of all, i work in that neighborhood. second, are you deaf, blind AND dumb? geez. i asked him, since when have i expressed being afraid of the housing? i have NEVER had a problem with the valley. but since once he moves back out to the country he'll never even remember that i visited him out at 33, i might as well quit going.