fuck you very much - I

I think I'm gonna lose it soon, and over something so dumb. In the grand scheme of things it's absolutely stupid. It makes me sound petty and materialistic. And more than a few people will want to remind me after I finish talking about it that I am the one who did not want to "seal us up" into coupledom. The funny thing, though - or maybe I'm just looking to foist ALL the blame onto him? - is that I think even if we were a couple, he'd still have his girls (in particular, XPD) and I'd still be fighting with him over the ever-present phone.

He answers the questions I ask, but if I don't ask, he won't tell. He will try to get away with saying things like, "I have a dinner" when I ask what he's got planned for the night. If it's with her, he won't offer a "with whom" detail. So whenever there's no "with whom" detail, I know it's XPD. Even though he doesn't owe me more, I'm ready to walk. Not because I want him all for myself, but because he's not enough to share. I know what "just seeing" means, and I have no problem with "just seeing" more than one person. But I feel like he's getting too much from me and bringing very little to my table.

I've been low-maintenance as long as I've been alive, and no, we're not a couple, but we've been seeing each other for a year and this is ridiculous. Sure it's all [my] speculation that he is shopping at XPD's warehouse, but he's pretty easy to read. Just because he's secretive doesn't mean he's deep.

Btw, in case there was any confusion, hell yes, I read his text messages. All of them, inbox and out. He flirtatiously offered her a massage (he's an LMT), and referred to being out with me as "taking care of something," as in, "sorry i couldn't answer the phone, i was taking care of something." Her texts were a little more tepid but did include one that said, "That was fun, we'll have to do it again."

Which apparently they are, as we speak.