phil of ed ... or philo-fed. haha

my c. goes, "do you want to delay your solo? we could delay it." like it would be some kind of relief. my thoughts on that are no, hell no, and hell f'in NO! there are days i teach from morning to afternoon. is there some reason i should be nervous about continuing that? the one thing i'm unsure of is, by solo do you absolutely mean you're going to leave me alone? like, are you going to cease to exist? will you be nonpresent for large stretches of time? because that's when i'm in my element. so if "solo" entails no help from my c. whatsoever, then i'm actually really looking forward to it and have no desire to delay it.


i think she's assuming there's no harm in a small delay because i'll be seeing them through till xmas break, but that's where she'd be wrong. at my cutoff date, i will be cut off. i'm not even entertaining thoughts of seasonal employment anymore. at that point, my priorities next to breathing and taking the occasional sip of water will be pulling through the final stretches of multi and PSJ. foolish me, thinking OL would be easier than vis-a-vis. well, in some respects it is. but i didn't count on things like being the only one in my multi group from HERE and having to coordinate chats with people from NM, cali, and texas.


ok, gotta go journal now so i can turn in volume II next seminar. oh, and write my philosophy of ed paper. it's supposed to fit on one page. haha. no, i'm serious. oh yeah, also have to write up my peer observations and read some more nel noddings. i'm not worried about staying up late (although i'm always tempted to grab any opportunity to catch up on sleep) because tomorrow has been designated a "planning day" for me, the first my c. has given me, ever. misanthrope_k gets like two a week. wtf?!


one last thing - looking forward to the weekend! and for more than just extra work time and sleep, for once. saturday is packed - BRWI in the a.m., and i'm so jazzed to see james sereno's short film with lois-ann yamanaka's poems from kala in saturday night at the pahala theatre. panels and workshops for the rest of the morning. volunteering at taste of china in the evening, then hopefully will get to g's house for her halloween party. not that it really matters, because i seriously doubt we're going to end up going to the party together as was originally planned. i told him i had to be at TOC till 9, and then i told him i wasn't sure i'd even make it out to g's because i hate driving around m-town even in the day, forget it in the dark. it was of course beyond him to say "i'll wait for you so we can go together" (mind you, it was the original plan to go together) ... and now i can't decide, should i just come out and ask him to wait for me? i kind of think not, because if he wanted to, he would have asked. and no, this has nothing to do with the fact that last night he went to the o-lounge vip party with a girl i can't f'ing stand. ok, this is the WRONG blog for this stupid rant.

... now i REALLY have to journal. you know, about things that matter.